20060427
hello. the reason why im here is to su4 ku3. for those who still dont know, my hate for a certain somebody has reached a level that cant be described in words. highlights of the week: c'div lost to rgs 1:3. though yuting n zhenna lost, i thought they played very well, perservering till the end. its ok. whats ours will be ours. b'div 3rd placing. we won PL 3:2. so here's how it goes. start of tues, i was alrdy very moody and all, due to stupid studies and my realisation that integration is tested in mye. so i was quite stressed up alrdy when i failed the differentiation test which i studied. hurr. then it was the i cant catch up with the class for amaths thing. plus watching dachangjing makes me cry every night and making my eyes swollen the next day. so i was very tired alrdy. and way before that i told sher, i dint want to play against PL. coz i noe i'll screw it up. and we agreed to play 2nd doubles but jiaolian is still jiaolian. haii.i cried before training that day. so i was very sad and depressed alrdy and i noe anythg can make me cry. at the 4th match, me n meiyi won. but which stupid idiot will cry after winning-me. now i understand how yinghui feels. u get so stressed up and crying doesn't seem to help but u cant stop it either. and the minute i reach jiaolian, he started yelling at ME like nobody's business. sorry, but its realli too much for me to take. i was trying not to cry but when jiaolian said dun cry, i broke down. he was lyk rubbing salt in my wound again and again. and time was up, i had to play without being able to control my feelings. some ppl r just so insensitive. it was hard for me coz it was the 5th match n his voice just kept replaying inside my head. i can hardly breathe n poof the game was over. held on till the very last minute, i shook hands with them and tada i started crying again. jiaolian understood what i was feeling. but i swear i prefer laojiaolian to him. hes @#%!@* strings of vulgarities for ur imagination. when someone is alrdy so tensed up, it doesn;t help if u scold someone being stupid rite? and it was the first time i heard him scolding someone and the victim has to be me. he said i was very stupid, if i just cuo and not attack, i'll win. but i just kept attacking even if i lose. if u're so calm u go play la! u think its so easy ar? i have to struggle not to think abt amaths, plus continue playing while weeping. at least meiyi understood. and jess,mich,wanling. it was the most humiiating moment of my life. to cry and play at the same time. my prediction was right.wed: he was being a hypocrite. wasn't he banning yuyang to play next yr n saying its a big mistake? the next thing u noe he wrote a para of her during morn announcement saying how gd she was for a sec2 to play against seniors. yuck. i met him outside theatrette. suay man! and he actually said this to me : I HAD A NIGHTMARE WATCHING YOU PLAY, LAST NIGHT! wow. very sarcastic eh? i haven gotten over the previous day's event and he just stab me in the heart again. ouch* what is he implying? that i played very lousily? u think i like to end my last match in cedar like that? u think so? he will be the last tchr i'll visit when i come back.u wont understand totally i guess. char was very shocked when she heard him say that. he actually repeated again. idiot. =( i guess i my impression of him will nvr change.chinese paper 1 was okay. paper 2 was bad! i didnt noe how to do! haha. try reading the dictionary! one paper down, 6 more to go.(: press on!
black&white ; 4/27/2006 03:44:00 PM
