black&white;
((:

20071027
Hello.
Yesterday was such a wonderful day! Not the whole day but still alright. Had my last chinese lesson of my life. Ohmy, I cant imagine myself not touching chinese anymore. I kind of like doing chinese homework first and I'll get nice stickers from laoshi. I wonder how much money she spends on all these stickers and snacks.
So I really hope that I can get at least a B for chinese, put a nice fullstop to chinese. 11 years of chinese, I must get at least a B! Go me on Monday! (: Tengye xiansheng, would you like to be tested? Hahaha.

I ate alone in the canteen for a short while. So proud of myself! I must learn to be independent. Things wont be the same. Anyway, I have been going to the library alone for the past few days.
Im beginning to be like a Uni student. LOL. Read newspapers, study chinese, go use comp, stone, listen to music, go toilet etc. Then there was this day when I chatted with the fruit stall auntie for like almost half an hour. So fun! I dont know why I can always talk to fruit stall aunties. Aiya, I like talking to aunties.

Lets see, I've never chatted with the 2 malay food stallholders. They always ignore me, not ignore me but quite diff to initiate. Indian food auntie very cute one, keep thanking me for supporting her! Hahaha. Her pattaya rice is so nice lor. Then chicken rice auntie and uncle I always talk to them each time I buy. (not very often and when they're not busy) Western food, got chat before in the afternoon. Mix rice never chat before. Carrot cake auntie always talk so loud! HAHA. But she's nice la. Then xiaomei(drinks stall auntie) is as lame as ever. Damei(yong tau foo stall auntie) quite funny also. Kopi-soh finally SMILED!! HAHA. It was just this random afternoon. I always smile at her every morning I buy breakfast from her lor.. Yay. Shit, I miss the cedar fruit stall auntie who calls me maikia which means xiaojie in hainanese. =(

Tina accompanied me for some time then we 'hid' at the corner of the library. After that, went to find Mrs Mah and complained to her about some stuff and we kept laughing! Hahah. My I&R ah! Still very bad. How to think of another idea! tsktsk. -pullshair-

Met HU li lin, meiyi and jinghan at chinatown mrt for lunch at 330pm. Yes, I think meiyi and I were having gastric alr. We ate at swensons! Haha. Okay la, I think its okay to spend my savings with them.(: So HU was being such a bimbo! Haha. She made friends with this phillipino(i cant spell) tour guide. LOL. First she asked for directions then we all taught her how to go and HU asked if she wanted to go for her church service on Sunday but the lady was flying off last night. So the tour guide gave HU her namecard and said if we wanted to go tour in Phillipines, we can contact her! Haha. There, she made a new friend at Chinatown Mrt.

Meiyi is still as slow as ever at understanding games! HAHA. After our late lunch, surprisingly I agreed to go with them for Bible Study. Yes, you saw it, its Bible Study. You'll be thinking, what! Lilin is actually going for Bible study when she's quite a freethinker?! Hahaha. So I didnt regret going for it. We went to this hidden place at Chinatown Point. So we learnt about Lesson 3 which was really long and full of content. Like there was Joseph then Isaac then dunno who la. Ohmy. All I know was that it was pretty interesting and how the teacher could just speak at such a fast speed with everything in her head. So I was quite impressed.

Then during a short break, meiyi made me tell the teacher what I said at the printing room. You know whenever I talk to christians, somehow as they speak, I get lost in their words and I will feel this overwhelming power? Yeah, its just very difficult to explain. Its as though they cast a spell on you. Then this feeling was really strong at the Bible Study. I could feel this power and this force around me, really really strong and I recognise it to happen only when christians talk to me about God. Lily, Tifen, Kuanren, HU Li Lin, Tan Chun and other random people for the past few years. As I told Suwen about it and as she explained to me what could be happening, I just cried. I dont know how to explain but tears just kept flowing down like now. I was just really touched, touched by God. Its so real. Im not sad, but I just feel so touched that I cried uncontrollably. God's love reaching out to me.(:

Then I also cried at every prayer and some songs during the service at night. Sadly, meiyi got scolded by her mum and couldnt join us for the service. But I really thank HU, meiyi, jinghan, peiting, charlotte and this girl which I forgot her name. Yesterday was just such an amazing experience which cannot be explained.

Jinghan and I had to leave halfway cos our parents dont exactly approve us of going to church stuff. Then we saw a stalker but not stalking us la. We walked rounds and rounds just to find the right busstop I think it took us 20mins. Jinghan waited for 197 for so long, maybe we missed the last bus. In the end, she took mrt home while I took bus 2 back. Due to all the crying the whole evening at night, I have terrible swollen eyes now. Like triple eyelids, damn ugly. I woke up feeling sick today, sore throat and flu. Last night I had gastric cos I only ate dinner after I reached home at 10plus. Again, its been a few years since I last had gastric but it was totally worth it. (:

I was totally amazed at the tongues thingy. Its like a unique language and form of communication with God. Totally cool. Everyone is like in their own world with God, oblivious to the surroundings. Ohmy, it was really an eyeopener. I will remember this day forever. (:

PW is @#@!@#*. 5 more days! :D

20071025

okay. I've been having strange thoughts which leads to strange nightmares. So scary!!! I need to say this. **** PW! argh. you are not helping much.. stupid OP, stupid OP!

Anyway, I think im quite weird. HAHA. I have strange ideas. I call it my prediction method. It keeps coming true. That night I was listening to 933fm and they happen to play old songs so obviously i havent been listening to 933 since god knows when! I decided that I needed some signs so I thought, if I know the next song which is quiet unlikely, then a specific thing will happen the next week! Ohmy the incident did happen but its was just 2 weeks later.

Then i tried on buses. I was at my busstop so I wanted some signs again. I said, if the next bus is a single digit, then blahblah will happen tonight. Ohmy, then bus 2 came!!! HAHAHA. my prediction came true though it wasnt the very night but 1 day later. So fun! HAHAHAHA.

I am siao. ohmy ohmy you're so cute!! OH ITS MY FAV SONG!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY. potential breakup song! ((((: okay back to my cutie. AHHAHA. ohmy he's so cute today, i mean not only today but even neo said he was cute! HAHAHA. not handsome cute but adorable cute ah. I love this 2 weeks. Yay. So shiok. 2 hours everyday. :D hahahah. I shall call him my cutie. LOL. okay my hair is standing!

I feel lighter, at least some things are settled. You rock girl! (:

20071018

I like the tune of this song. Over it by Katherine Mcphee and she's pretty too! (:
I realise her voice is nice and melodious, emo enough..



I feel like shutting myself from the outside world. Certain times of the day I can just sit in a corner and ignore everyone yet I wont feel lonely. oh nvm.


PW PW PW omg. PW sucks. stupid OP. I totally embarrassed myself during the filming. I was so nervous I said the wrong things. Nvm, its over! I shall just practise more before the actual thing.. PW is taking up too much time. Its crazy how Im going to supposedly study for my chinese and prepare my I&R plus OP. Madness.

My chinese is still 1 step away from A. It all depends on luck and how difficult the paper is. I just cant seem to reach that A. Sigh.

OGL interview! Ohmy, it sounds so fun. Dhilshad called me and so I told her I had to pull out from OGL. So sad.. My interview was supposed to be today.. Haii. Anyway, after hearing all the qns, I cant seduce a chair or dance the mass dance but other stupid qns still alright. KE XI ah KE XI. Vj has like a million things to sign up for but I cant go. Meritocracy indeed. Everything is results results results. Sigh. OCIP, OGL, AIDS thingy, umpire course etc etc.

I in VJC to be a student, remember that.

Jessie thought me how to sight-read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY YAY YAY! So fun to learn something new. Piano, you are such an amazing instument. I just have to learn you! :D

start of something new..

20071011

20071009

I like slow, piano music at the start of songs. I really love the sound of piano, so cool and nice! I hope EVERYONE around me knows how to play the piano, especially emo tunes or maybe just Final Fantasy. Not learning how to play the piano is still a regret in my life. Sigh.



The radio accompanied my tears for the past few nights. Really must thank the DJs, give me all the nice songs and my favs somemore! (: Emo songs make me feel better, sleep better and think better.

So I cant promote with my results as yet but its okay. Im mentally prepared to that-R-word. I think I need this 2nd chance to relearn what i've missed out for the past year. Why not that-R-word if I can do better for A's? Im just not convinced that I cant do A levels. Im not even aiming for 4As or what, AABB I happy alr. After I get back my geog paper on Friday, I'll do an analysis on my results. Hahha, a detailed one. Anyway, Mr Wee hinted to me about being suspended from training. Well done.

Ooh, I cant wait for the full day on Friday.

The drinks stall auntie gave me and char a gift. She calls me Mary and there's a story behind it. CHUAH was introducing me to her so she asked for my name. Then she said chinese name very difficult to remb so call me Mary. Then Neo is my best friend so auntie call her Lamb and together we're Mary and the Lamb. HAHA.
Then on mon, auntie suddenly came to us and gave me this doll like girl with the word 'Mary' on it. There was even her message at the bottom of the doll. Neo, received a LAMP, not a LAMB!!! HAHAH. Damn fooney la. Auntie is as lame as ever.
During physical geog tutorial, ms fisher was quite puzzled so she asked us about the doll and the lamp and we told her the story of 'Mary and the LamP'. Hahah. She gave us this 'oh' look and said sthg like 'is this a singapore thing?' LOL.

HAII.

20071007

wo zui jing zen me le. hao xiang hui dao cong qian. dui bu qi.

Ohman, I seriously think the chinese language is so cool. Some words and feelings are really better expressed in mandarin. If only I could write chinese well... It must be due to the taiwanese dramas I've been watching. At least while watching them, I get to be in my own world, away from all the superficial things in life. I've finally finished watching The Magicians of Love. Its not bad but not my favourite since xiaobei did not end up with erqi. Poor guy.

I don't know what happened to me. I've been pretty excited about going to school but when Im in school, suddenly I lost the enthusiasm. Come to think of it, I know which part of school life made me feel this way. Okay I cant really say much here. I just hope that time will fly past quickly and that I'll be happier in school.

Without studying, I get to spend more time with myself just thinking about things, people and events. Because of that, I realised I miss alot of people and I feel that I've neglected them. How selfish of me to use 'busy' as an excuse. I miss my dear meiyi, I know we're in the same boat (acty I dreamt of her a few days ago), best bud for all his nonsense phonecalls, shuhuan for just sharing her interesting life and listening to me. I also miss the so-called study sessions with laotu but we end up talking abt other people. There are just so many things and people that I miss, its one whole endless list...

I dont know what to expect for tomorrow. We'll be going through papers/getting back results and there's training. Why is it such a love-hate thing? I want answers, answers to all the questions in life.

Its easier said than done.

eh you. I thought you might be better than me at the other end of the country. Looks like we're still the same. As much as I wish you all the best, I myself is in danger too. May God bless us. Your sms made me rather sad. How am I suppose to reply?

wo tian tian han zhe lei, wei le shi shen me?

20071006

OPEN HOUSE 2007
Yay. Everything is over. I realise I havent been eating well these few days and I think its affecting my overall well-being. I become very easily tired and moody. This reminds me of those days. I havent been so dao and sian for a long time but somehow it feels alright to be in my comfort zone.

Open house wasnt very good I suppose. There won't many people and the people who went to played came mostly from other CCAs. Hahaha. Soccer,vball,wushu,floorball, hockey etc etc. Its fun if you know them but quite sian to keep entertaining everyone. There was this green-shirt girl who was quite aggresive and kept wanting to play with me. I decided to be firm and just told her to write down her name.So annoying.
I didnt go around other people's booth. 5hrs seem very fast. Play here and there, talk to random people, emo here and there, stone, drink water, stone, find people to bring to mr wee. Haha. The setting up and carrying of tables was quite tiring yesterday.Thanks to Kenji and a few other guys whom I didn't know, I did not use much strength but the dust,dirt and heat was almost unbearable. All thanks to tina's charms, we didnt had to lift much. (:
I so miss the sport, the sound, the feeling but today, I thought it was quite wasted. I can't seem to find any fav moment anymore. The enjoyable doubles games were gone. But at least, I got to touch my bat and play abit. It made me feel slightly better.
Mass dance was quite nice to watch. Haha. You'll see enthu SCs and CT and the not so enthu ppl who ran away when they know its the have-to-find-a-partner dance. HAHA. So funny to watch them. Overall, open house was still alright. I managed to get numbers from people and they gave me a sense of hope. whee.

I can't believe you totally forgot about it. It affected us, especially me so much that I can never forget. oh nvm. weird weird weird setting.
I saw you quite a few times today. I dont know what to say. Haii.
Getting back papers in 2 days time. Well done. Looks like I should start writing those letters alr. For once, I dont look forward to getting back papers. In fact, I've always liked the feeling. People do change huh.

change is the only constant

20071001

I'm glad that promos are officially over. I cant stop myself from thinking about that R word/the SB word. It just comes to my mind. Today's oct 1st 2007. I cant believe I've wasted 10months just like that. Kuankuan said its better than nothing and I replied it could have been more. So, what have I achieved for the past 10 months? I cant think of any reply to that qn.

I just ate subway with kuankuan and neo, the rare occasion when kuankuan asked us out!HAHA.(: The weather is too hot for me. Haha. Maybe because im not at peace with myself. I wasnt calm, I didnt have a good night's sleep. I slept at 12plus, just couldn't sleep and now I feel like a zombie. Like the saying goes, 'xin jing zi ran liang'. Haha. my xin bu jing so im not liang.

Bah. Today, he spoiled my mood. You know the only relief I get from Promos is to not think abt team stuff? The minute promos is over, all the problems start bombarding my head again. How fast and annoying. I've grown too much white hair just thinking about the team. Sacrifice huh?

Anyway, I went out with my sis on sat. For once, we did not quarrel the whole day. The last time we went out together, I got quite annoyed. Hahaha. She treated me to sushi tei which costs $49.90. Surprisingly, I was very full and satisfied of course except for all the mayo and fisheggs. Then I treated her to ice cream. Went all the way back to siglap for my haircut. I am officially broke TTM. And Im meeting my teammates tmr plus maybe them on thurs. Ohno.

I was actually quite pissed with you but I've decided to let go. No point spoiling my mood before chinese papaer. Hahaha. Laugh it off...

ooh. IKEA IKEA IKEA.
After chem paper, 6 of us meaning neo, polly, kuankuan, firstlady, ED-win and myself, went to IKEA at tamp. We were so lucky to catch the shuttle bus at bedok! On the bus, I got so amused by the Mumbai advertisement!!! HAHAHA. I still like it very much.

I ate spag with meatballs. Yummy. Firstlady was fasting so we tried to eat faster and went to walk around. Halfway, we splitted cos kuankuan and I wanted to see the little elephants. HAHA. So cute la! Then we continued walking and I told her quite alot of stories. Ohno, I am so naggy and long-winded. Hahaha. So we decided to call the rest to meet up but obviously we couldnt find oner another and I needed to shit. So finally we met at the children's section I think which was where all the fun began. ED-win and I began putting those scary spiders at random corners like inside the children's tents! Ha. This father and son kept playing with them. See, we bring joy to IKEA customers. Then there was this $1 lid cover, we placed spiders inside those lids to scare ppl and see their reactions.
The first victim was a pregnant lady! phew. Thank goodness nthg happened to her if not we will be guilty all our lives. Anyway, it got us pretty excited and high, we just kept laughing whenever ppl were near those lids and why they just dont open the centre one! HAHAHA.

We also went to sit around the chairs and have our 'meeting'. I like this $39 white chair! IKEA was fun fun fun! CHUAH, you missed out alot but we'll make up for it soon! (: Maybe not zoo, sorry polly! We should save money! (:

Facebook is addictive! HAHAHA. I like to give people plants to grow. So cute. YAY.

ME;
LL(:
VJTT(:
CGTT(:
07S61

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