20071226
Lock lock lock.This will be the first time I blog when this place is locked. R papers in exactly 1 week time. Im kind of dead. Seriously need all the luck I can get. These 2 months really test my determination and perseverance. Everything and everyone is tempting me. Its just how I resist all the temptations. Never have an exam at the start of the month cos I'll be PMSing the week before and I'll get very stressed up and cry easily. It gets worse when its 1 day before the exam. R papers are really important to me. I dont just want to pass abit, even if I fail, I hope that I will know where my mistakes are and really get the basics. 2 months spent on learning from the beginning, all the geog and chem and maths I didnt learn for promos. Hopefully, I'll be able to remb what I've studied for promos and for the past few weeks. I was talking to my dad and tears were welling up in my eyes. I told him that I want to work in a hotel next time. Then he objected and told me not good. He said do office work better, 5-day work week all that. So I can get enough of rest, probably like my eldest sis. Hotel is a 24hours business, irregular hours. When people are enjoying the variuos festive seasons, you'll be working. I think he just doesnt want me to end up like him, having to work everyday and not having holidays during public holidays. The key thing was, he didnt want me to work in the service industry but thats exactly what I want. After seeing how upset I was, he then said, as long as im happy then okay lor. My happiness is more important.Something I want to do, also something my dad is against. My future is a blur. I cant wait for Rs to be over, for As to be over, for school life to be over then I can go and work and earn some money for the family. Sometimes I really wish I had the ability to get scholarships then my dad wont have to pay so much. I really wish my family to be richer so we'll have a higher standard of living. Money is always the issue. If Im smarter and more disciplined, I might just get a well-paid job so my parents can retire. I wish that a miracle would happen, suddenly my parents wont have to keep worrying about their shops, they would be happier and able to enjoy their lives for once. Before I think of how bad the situation is, I should COUNT MY BLESSINGS. How lucky I am. Other people may be richer, but they will lack something else I have.A simple life, yet hard to achieve.You know what, I should stop complaining because I having 4 R papers may not be that bad. It is just a passing phase. If I could improve from a position 350/358 to a 9-pointer in 4 years, I can get decent grades by A levels. I'll be very foolish if I get affected by those spoilt brats and lousy ppl who complain about how screwed they are with only 1 R paper. Hur hur. And one more thing, do not mention about aiming 4As to me. It disgusts me utterly. Keep your goals to yourself, in case you get too far from it. Pray hard and cross your fingers, let me pass my R papers, at least for chem, for Mrs Mah.
black&white ; 12/26/2007 11:40:00 AM
